At First I Was Angry

In thinking back when I first became deaf, deep down inside I became angry as hell. I was angry at the world. "Why did this have to happen to me?", I'd often asked myself. Then I began to realize not only couldn't I hear the outside world, but I also had to adjust to not hearing my own voice as I spoke. That meant my speaking voice became a voice which was a little louder than usual at first.  I was told in writing since I did not know American Sign Language at that time.

Communication soon became a challenge for me and a new strain on my relationship with my spouse. I have a ton of writing paper with conversations I had back then with my spouse. In order for our communication to become clear again, my spouse took in college an ASL class and even obtained an Associates Degree while doing so. How's that for love? Smiles. It's because of my spouse that I am becoming more fluent in Sign Language. Of course there are other sources that I am learning from as well. But my main source is my spouse of twenty-one years. Yes. My spouse is the same saucy red-head I mentioned in my previous writings. I honestly don't know what would have become of my life had it not been for my spouse finding me  support groups early on. And who say's true love doesn't exist?

I was even more angry at first because I couldn't walk. You see, for those of you that don't know, a human body get's it's balance from their inner ears called the Cochlear. When I was sick with Meningitis my inner ears (both of them) suffered severe damage. At first I honestly thought my hearing loss was only temporary, however my audiogram proved unlikely. Oh, I cried and I cried. My thoughts about the rest of my life ran wild. How was I ever going to survive. What job would hire me. I couldn't go back to my old career which was that of an Electrician.

For those of you that are reading this, just imagine if you will, being deaf for a day. Think about how that would impact your life. Being deaf late in life really takes courage which is what I'm finding with each passing day. The doctors don't know how I came to have Meningitis and apparently it's a deadly bacteria. Well, I've been doing some thinking about how I may have come into contact with the deadly bacteria. It has to do with my life before I became sick. This part I'm about to write about is truly a "secret". So stay tunned as I muster up the courage to do a "tell all" on my life. Let's just say my loosing my hearing is definitely due to GOD's divine intervention.